My Body - My Choice

R V REALLY BELLYACHING?


What it is to be Judged all the time?

Well I dont intent to write this post to assert anything even close to infidelity for cheating on someone is in no way a solution,let alone the debate on morality.

It is more about the choice of being Judgmental or not.
Is it really that difficult to be Non Judgmental?
When you find a woman walking with a few guys on the road.
When you find a woman going with a man in a two wheeler.
When you find a woman talking to another man over the phone.
When you find a woman wearing non-traditional clothes.
I feel we as a nation are so obsessed with our perceived codes of conduct.

But think about this.... There is this young woman who has lost her husband. Her struggle with her overwhelming emotions , her struggle to come to terms with the reality of being a single Parent so on and so forth. This society of ours silently looks on....

Now this young woman musters up a little courage to find  a decent job near by her home more to assert her self worth and specifically not for her finances. This society of ours silently looks on.....

Day in and day out she tries to strike a balance between work and home , her understandably normal expectations and also the hard-faces of reality. This  society of ours silently looks on......

She in the course of time , takes a deep breath , wants to move on with life.She finds this man in her workplace. All he gives her is just this...... He becomes the someone whom she can emotionally ventilate to. This  society of ours silently looks on......

Naturally , over a period she gets intimate with him ..... Now all of a sudden the society with all its perceived codes of conduct jumps into the picture ...... Only because a woman made her own choice..... Her Body ... Her Choice.....

When lives odds do not follow a protocol and could strike any of us at the deadliest hours , why should we seek  rational explanation for our emotions and why should our reaction to such adverse events follow any protocol at all....

My Body - My Choice

HOW CONSERVATIVE R WE?

Well I just finished watching the movie “Chokher Bali” a Bengali movie which is an adoption of Rabindranath Tagore’s novel of the same name. Really I am surprised at the kind of storyline he chose to depict an young widow’s emotions and vulnerabilities; considering the time this novel was actually written (early 1900s ,start of the 20th Century).

In the same lines I am reminded of another movie which exclusively dealt with the subject of Widow remarriage by the name Sagalakala Sammandhini (A Tamil Movie by Visu). In this movie , the story deals with the emotions in a very different way. It actually goes in a way where an young girl gets widowed she tries and comes to terms with the realities of life by fakely suppressing her emotions (in the sense locking herself up in a room , and eating only curd rice etc).

In the course of the latter’s story an old man , who happens to become the Sammandhi of the house recognizes her feelings , tactfully brings her out of her self -created fake world and gets her married to another person.

Well my question here is different. How does a common man view the former ‘s storyline(Chokher Bali) and the latter’s storyline. In the former ,the protagonist who is a widow talks up for her emotional rights. In a very famous dialogue she asks if drinking Tea secretively (Widowed Women in Bengal were prohibited to have Tea and Onions) is correct for the pleasure of your tongue then my urge at this age to seek for a man is in no way wrong.

Well at the outset we might all accept that we all support Widow Remarriage. But the real success would be when we can all open up our minds to accept when woman get really vocal about their emotional needs.

I somehow feel we as a nation are still lacking this aspect of accepting women who really become vocal about what they need and have to be a little more open for issues as obvious as this.